Hand Marks
by StevexBuckyx
Summary: Stucky soulmate au. Pre serum Stevebucky / please leave a review!
1. The Day We Met

Soulmates. Bucky had never really thought about it. He knew one day the right person would come along. His mum told him stories too, but he didn't really care. His sisters were excited, but no matter how hard he tried to pretend, no one was convinced he was truly excited to meet his soulmate.

Steve thought about it all the time. His mum told him stories, wonderful stories of the times she had seen people meet their soulmate. He's only young, but everyday he hopes his soulmate will find him.

-0-

'Not again,' Steve thought as a group of bullies came towards him.

"Please leave me alone," he cried, "I just want to go home."  
"Too bad."

The bullies knocked him to the floor and started beating him up. One kicked his stomach as another punched his cheek repeatedly. All it of suddenly stopped. Steve looked up to see a boy not much older than him. He had dark brown hair with blue eyes and a friendly smile. He offered his hand.

Steve stood up by himself, "thanks."  
"I'm James, but you can call me Bucky."  
"Ok Bucky, I'm Steve."  
"Nice to meet y-"

His sentence was cut off by one of the bullies coming back for more and pushing Steve onto his new friend. Steve's hand landed on Bucky's chest. The brunette helped him regain his balance by holding his arm.

"What was that for?" Bucky said defensively stepping back.  
"Them pushing me?"  
"No, your hand burnt me."  
"Yours burnt my arm too, do you see me complaining."  
"Wait Steve, roll up your sleeve," Bucky said as we noticed a small black spot sticking out.

Steve hesitantly did as he was told. There was a black handmark on his arm.

"What is that?" Bucky asked.  
Steve went wide eyed, "i-it's a soulmark."  
"That's a load of bull. Soulmates aren't real."  
"It's exactly like my ma described. 'You know you've met your soulmate when your handprints become etched on eachothers skin. It's permanent, unless your other half loses their life.' It's why my ma doesn't have one."  
"But, we're both guys. This is wrong. Are you sure?"  
"Yeah," Steve replied softly, "I'm sorry, I have to go."

Before Bucky could protest, Steve was gone.

-0-

"MA!" Steve yelled running into their small home crying.  
"What's the matter?" Sarah's asked softly, as Steve threw himself into her arms.  
"I-I marked with someone."  
"What do you mean?" She pushed him off her so she could look at him, "show me."

Steve rolled up his sleeve to reveal Bucky's hand print. Sarah licked her finger and tried to wipe it, thinking maybe he was faking it. It didn't smudge. All the intricate details were still prominent.

"Do you know her name?" She asked.  
"It wasn't a girl! That's the problem!"  
"What do you mean it wasn't a girl?"  
"It was a boy, he stopped the bullies from hurting me again. They came back for more and pushed me onto him."  
"Well what's his name?"  
"He said James, but I should call him Bucky."  
"That's Winifred's boy, are you sure?"  
"Yes ma, are the police going to come get us? I don't want to be taken away from you," Steve cried. "No one is going to take you away, just don't tell anyone else about this mark and if you're going to be with him be careful, be discrete, promise me."  
"I promise ma."

-0-

"Ma, I need to tell you something. It's really important and I don't want you to overreact."  
"Yeah? What is it?" Winifred asked, without looking up from her paper.  
"I marked with someone."  
She instantly put down her paper, "what?"  
"I marked."  
"As in soulmarked?"  
"Yeah."  
"Let me see."

Bucky slipped off his shirt to reveal Steve's hand print on his chest.

"James, but you're so young."  
He shrugged, "but that's not the part I don't want you overreact about."  
"What is?"  
Bucky looked down at the ground, "it wasn't a girl."  
"What did you just say?"  
"It wasn't a girl. It was a boy. His name is-"  
"I don't want to know his name! If someone finds out about this you'll be shipped away off to conform school! Do you want that?"  
"Of course not."  
"Then you didn't mark. Ignore it and it'll go away."  
"Ma, that's not how it-"  
"You heard me. Get out of my sight."

-00000-

I'm going to add more chapters, but please be patient. The new semester just started so I'm going to have a lot of homework :) 


	2. Keep It A Secret

Over the next few years, Steve and Bucky became close. Despite Winifred resenting the blonde, they still managed to keep a close bond. Their relationship was completely platonic. They decided maybe they didn't have to be romantically involved to be soulmates. By now they were 16 and 17.

After school, Bucky went back to Steve's. They sat on the couch together, the brunette doing his homework and the blonde finishing off his sketches.

"Hey Stevie..."  
"Yeah?"  
"Do you ever regret marking with me?"  
"Not at all. Why?"  
"It's just, you'll never get to have kids."  
"I never really liked the idea of having kids. Do you...maybe regret marking with me?"  
"Of course not! You're my best friend, I wouldn't trade you for the world!"

The blonde smiled and continued to sketch.

"Stevie..."  
"Mmm?"  
"Do you ever think about being more than friends?"  
Steve looked up from his art, "what do you mean?"  
"Do you ever think about if this whole soulmate thing isn't platonic? What if we are meant to be...I don't know, lovers?"  
"I wouldn't mind. You're not too bad looking," Steve joked.  
"You're a punk."  
"Jerk."

The two stared into eachothers eyes. Their faces slowly moved closer until Bucky couldn't take the painfully slow movement anymore. He cupped Steve's face and pulled him into a kiss.

"Bucky-"  
"Sorry if I just...I should go-"

Steve cut him off with another kiss. This one was slower, more passionate. The blonde moved his hand up so he was cupping Bucky's cheekbone. In the middle of their kiss the front door swung open.

"Hey James," Sarah smiled, "how are you?"  
"I-I'm good Ms Rogers, how are you?"  
"I'm alright. Does Winifred know you're here?"  
"Yeah she does. I can go if you want-"  
"Nonsense! You can stay for dinner if you wish."  
"Thankyou, your cooking is better than mums."

Sarah smiled and winked at Steve as she walked into the kitchen clutching groceries. Steve rolled his eyes and turned back to Bucky.

"She doesn't have a problem with it?"  
"Nah, she said when we first marked that if we ever wanted to be together we should keep it on the down low and make sure no one found out."

Bucky smiled and kissed Steve again.

-0-

That night, Steve laid in his bed. He thought about Bucky, more specifically their soft kisses exchanged earlier that night. The way Bucky smiled at him every time made his heart flutter, the way he went a soft red afterwards was adorable. How had he been so lucky to have a soulmate as amazing as Bucky?

Bucky's thoughts were very similar. The amount of love in Steve's eyes when he looked at him made Bucky just want to hold him tight and never let go. His soft smile was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen. His best friend, his soulmate was gorgeous. He knew his mum would never accept him, but that didn't stop his hearts true desire to be with his soulmate.

-0-

That morning, Bucky stared at Steve's handprint on his chest. It was small, not much smaller than his hand now. The small intricate details of his friends (lovers?) handprint was beautiful to him. He started to trace the small details of the handprint. He was interrupted by Winifred.

"James, get changed for school or you're going to be late- hey what did I tell you? I want you to pretend that's not there."  
"But ma, it's a part of my skin. I can just ignore it."  
"I'm not a fan of that Rogers boy. You're lucky I didn't send you off to conform school when you first marked!"  
"As you've said many times before and he's not that bad. You're just ignorant."  
"What did you say to me young man?"  
"You need to cut him some slack. It's not his fault we m-"  
"Get ready for school. I don't want to hear about him anymore."

Winifred slammed the door. Bucky wished she could be accepting like Sarah.

-000000-

This chapter is a bit shorter, sorry x 


	3. Don't Leave

Many nights Steve and Bucky spent together. At least twice a week, the brunette would stay over at Steve's. Bucky would hold him close and the blonde would rest his head on Bucky's shoulder. He would softly trace his own handprint on his lover. One night, everything changed.

"I wish things were different. I wish we could just be accepted. We wouldn't have to hide," Bucky spoke.  
"Yeah same. I wish I could hold you in public. I wish I didn't have to hide my soulmark."

Steve lifted his face to meet Bucky's lips.

"Atleast we can have moments like this," Steve smiled.

Bucky was about to lean back in for another kiss when he saw something.

"Steve," he stared wide eyed at the window.  
"What is it?"  
"I saw someone."  
"What?"  
"Someone at the window looking at us, they're gone now."  
"What are we going to do?"  
"Nothing. We're going to do nothing. Hopefully, whoever it is won't say anything."

-0-

"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" Winifred screamed the exact second he opened the front door.  
"I was at Steve's doing homework. I told you that I would be going there before school."  
"THATS A LOAD OF BULL!"  
"Uh no mum, I can assure y-"  
"YOU WERE NOT DOING HOMEWORK! YOU TWO WERE IN BED!"  
"Mum we weren't- how would you even know that?"  
"THE WHOLE TOWN HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT! HOW MY BOY WAS IN BED WITH THAT ROGERS BRAT!"  
"Don't call Steve a brat."  
"DON'T SAY HIS NAME! HE DID THIS TO YOU!"  
"Mum calm down. Stop yelling, please," Bucky started to tear up.  
"Tomorrow morning, I'm sending you off to conform school. I don't want you to see him ever again."  
"But-"  
"No buts! Go to your room!"

That night, Bucky couldn't sleep. When he knew his mum and sisters were out cold, he snuck out.

Steve was in the kitchen with his mum helping her wash the dishes. A loud bang on the front door startled them.

"I'll go see who it is," Steve said, leaving the kitchen.

He opened to door to see Bucky. He was soaked from the rain. His hair was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Oh my god Bucky, what happened?" Steve said stepping to the side so he could come in.  
"Everyone knows Steve, they know. My sisters are looking at me like I'm an animal! Even my mum knows. She's sending me away tomorrow," he cried, shutting the door behind him.

Sarah had heard the ruckus and came to investigate.

"James, what do you mean everyone knows? How?"  
"Earlier, someone was watching Steve and I through the window. They saw the soulmarks," Bucky was in complete hysterics.  
"Oh James," Sarah hugged him, "it's ok, we'll get through this."

Bucky cried into her shoulder. Steve as if he had been punched in the stomach. His eyes started to fill with tears.

"You can stay here tonight," Sarah offered "Thank you," he whispered.

-0-

Bucky had a shower and put on some fresh clothes Sarah had offered. He met Steve in his room.

"Can I hold you tonight?" he asked, "I'm scared that when I come back from where I'm going I won't love you anymore. I don't want that to happen. I just want one last night together."  
"Of course Buck," Steve hugged him.  
"I love you Stevie."  
"I love you too."

Neither of them slept much. They just silently held eachother, hoping the night wouldn't end. Hoping that the sun wouldn't rise. Hoping they could stay like this forever. Eventually, Steve drifted off.

That morning there was another loud bang on the door.

Sarah opened the door to see a police squad and a priest.

"Ma'am, we're here looking for a James Barnes. Do you happen to know of his whereabouts?"  
"I'm sorry, who are you?"  
"I'm head chief. If you don't tell me where he is, I have full rights to search your house."  
"I don't know where he is, I'm sorry," Sarah closed the door and ran straight to the boys room.

"STEVE, JAMES WAKE UP RIGHT NOW."

The pair woke up startled.

"You need to go James, out the window. The police are here. You need to run get as fa-"

Her sentence was cut off with the door falling down.

"Go!" Sarah yelled.

Unfortunately, the police were faster than James. They grabbed him by his arms and started to drag him back. Steve attempted to get them off, but he was just thrown to the ground.

"Bucky!" He cried.

Bucky was dragged out by the police.

"Steve! Steve! I lo-"

The men covered his mouth.

"Stand up," one of the men dragging him demanded, "walk."

Bucky stood. He didn't move until one of the men pushed him. He looked to the ground, watching his own feet.

Sarah held Steve back. She knew it was hurting him, but she couldn't let Steve be taken too. Steve turned and hugged his mum, crying into her shoulder.

"He's gone, why is everyone like this? Why aren't we allowed to be together?" He cried, "this is my fault, I did this to him."  
"None of this is your fault, it's ok. We'll get him back. I promise."

-00000-

I wrote this on the bus, sorry for any typos 


	4. Time Moves On

Time went on and people forgot about the incident, but Steve never did. Every morning Steve would look at his mark in the mirror. He'd check if it had changed or even faded. It was still the same. Same size, same shade, same patterns. He wished Bucky was ok. He wished Bucky wouldn't fall out of love with him. He was alone now. His mum had lost her life to illness and no one was there to comfort him. He tried to end it, but every time he stopped because what if Bucky still cared? What if Bucky saw the mark faded? He couldn't do that to him, even if he didn't love him anymore.

Bucky was far from alright. Every morning he was hit just for having a mark. Everyone there had gone through the same thing as him. They all had soulmarks. At night, when the teachers had gone to bed everyone would talk. They would talk about their soulmates and how amazing they were. Of course, Bucky talked about Steve. He talked about everything up until he was taken. He missed Steve more than he would admit. He didn't even know if he'd see him again. Turns out everyone at the conform school had similar stories. They all marked with a guy and were taken away while their soulmate had to watch. It was heartbreaking, but everyday Bucky waited. He waited until he was deemed fixed by the teachers and was allowed to leave.

-0-

"You're back again?" The bartender asked. "Yeah, can I have the usual?" Steve asked. "Sure."

Steve sat with the drink infront of him. Tears started to fill his eyes. Even though it had been years since Bucky was taken, he never forgot. That day kept replaying in his mind every time he was left to his own thoughts.

"S...Steve?" There was a stutter behind him.

He turned to see a familiar face.

"Bucky..."  
"Hey punk."  
Steve slid off the stool, "jerk."

Bucky pulled Steve into a hug.

"Everyday, everyday I was there I didn't stop thinking about you," he started to cry, "now you're here, you're really here. I'm sorry I left."  
"You had no choice, I'm just happy you're back," Steve said now starting to cry too.

They pulled away from eachother. That's when Steve caught a glimpse of Bucky's hand.

"Oh my god," he held Bucky's hand up so he could look, "Buck, what'd they do to you?"

His hand was black and blue. A large scar covered the whole top. Steve rubbed a finger along the cut.

"Does it hurt?"  
"It doesn't matter," he pulled his hand away, "how's Sarah?"  
"She passed a few years ago. She got really sick and we couldn't afford her t..treatment," Steve wiped away a few tears.  
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't of asked."  
"It's ok, have you gone to see Winifred yet?"  
"No, I don't think I want to. She sent me to that...p-place."  
"Do you wanna come back to mine tonight?" Steve asked changing the subject, "catch up, get drunk like we used to?"  
"Sounds good."

Steve paid for his drink and left with the taller man.

-0-

Steve led Bucky into his rundown apartment that he once shared with his mother.

"It's not much, but it's home."

Strangely, it felt like Bucky's home too.

"Did you get into any back alley fights while I was gone?" Bucky laughed.  
"One, but it was the guy who watched us through the window."  
He sighed, "I guess he deserved it."  
"He did deserve it," Steve turned, "it's his fault you had to go to that inhumane place. Even if you did fall out of love, I wasn't going to."  
"Stevie, nothing they did to me could make me love someone else, I love you."

Bucky walked forwards and leant down to kiss Steve. He cupped the blondes face. Their lips parted, but their heads didn't move.

"I missed you."  
Steve smiled, "I missed you too."

That night was everything they had hoped for. Drunk laughter and drunk kisses. It was almost as if everything in the world didn't matter. No responsibilities, no one watching. It was just them. Neither of them wanted it to end. They had waited four years for this and they weren't going to let it go to waste.

-00000-

I honestly struggled writing this chapter, hope it didn't disappoint that much :/ 


	5. It Isn't Possible

Hey guys, I really appreciate every single person that has taken the time to read this fic, it means a lot. Thanks for being awesome

-0000000-

"There are men laying down their lives, I got no right to do any less then them," Steve looked Bucky in the eye, "that's what you don't understand, this isn't about me."  
"Right, because you've got nothing to prove."

One of our 'dates' asked if Bucky was taking them dancing.

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back," Bucky started to walk off.  
"How can I?" Steve smiled, "you're taking all the stupid with you."  
He turned and started walking back, "you're a punk."  
"Jerk."

They hugged eachother.

"I love you," Bucky whispered in the blondes ear.

The smaller man gave him a soft smile. Bucky turned and walked back towards the girls.

-0-

A few days later, Bucky was captured. The torture and pain reminded him of those four years prior.

One instance, the hydra agents stripped off his top half to 'whip him into shape' which just meant they were going to hurt him for not cooperating. For reassurance the looked down at his mark.

"What..." he breathed before he could stop himself, "it isn't possible."

-0-

"Bucky," Steve attempted to get him out of his trance.  
"Sssteve?"  
"Yeah it's me, it's Steve."  
"Steve," he smiled.

Steve pulled him off the bed.

"I thought you were dead," tears filled his eyes.  
"I thought you were smaller."

The two headed for the door.

"What happened to you?"  
"I joined the army."  
"Did it hurt?"  
"A little."  
"Is it permanent?"  
"So far."  
"Steve wait."

The now taller man stopped and turned to face Bucky. The brunette ran up and kissed him hard. Time stopped for a moment

"I'm sorry, I needed to."  
Steve grabbed Bucky's wrist, "cmon lets go."

The factory started exploding. They were so close to escaping when Schmidt appeared with Zola.

"Captain America, how exciting. I'm a great fan of your films," he mocked, "so doctor Erskine managed it after all? Not exactly an improvement, but still impressive."  
Steve threw a punch, "you have no idea."  
"Haven't I?" Schmidt threw a punch too.

He knocked Steve to the ground, but Steve retaliated and kicked him away. As Steve stood, Zola pulled a lever, splitting the bridge between the two super soldiers.

"No matter what lies Erskine told you, you see I was his greatest success."

Schmidt pulled off a mask to reveal a red face. A red skull.

"You don't have one of those do you?" Bucky remarked.  
"You are deluded Captain, you pretend to be a simple soldier when in reality you are afraid to admit we have left reality behind," Schmidt taunted, "unlike you, I embrace it without fear!"  
"Then why are you running?" Steve yelled.

Doors shut concealing Zola and Schmidt away.

-0-

After finding a way out, they made it back to base. 1,000 soldiers or so followed them back.

Bucky was sent to the infirmary.

"Hey," Steve smiled as he walked in, "how are you doing?"  
"I'm good," Bucky sounded nervous, "I need to talk to you...privately."

The brunette slid off his makeshift bed and dragged Steve to a quiet area away from everyone.

"Steve thankgod you're ok," Bucky hugged him, "but I need to tell you something."  
"Is something wrong?"  
"S-sorta."  
"You can tell me anything, what happened?"  
"My mark changed," he said bluntly.  
"W-what?"

-00000000-

Sorry I haven't updated this in a while. School holidays just started so I promise I'll be more active :)

Also sorry, this part is short.


	6. You're Still Out There

"What do you mean it changed?"  
"It's bigger now, I don't know."  
"Let me see."

Bucky looked to see if anyone was watching, he then pulled down the neck of his shirt to reveal the larger handprint now over the smaller one. Steve places his hand over the top. A perfect fit.

"It changed, but when I did," Steve said in disbelief.  
"At least it's still yours, I got scared. I thought I'd marked with one of the enemies. I was scared that you wouldn't love me anymore," Bucky looked to the ground.  
"I could never stop loving you Buck, I love you."

Bucky looked up and gave him a soft smile.

"You're taller than me now, I don't know how I feel about it," he joked.  
"You're a jerk."  
"Punk."

Steve leant down and kissed him.

"Wait-" Bucky said pushing him away, "what if someone sees?"  
"Let them, it's not like they haven't before."  
"You remember what happened last time right?"  
"Of course I do, but no one is around."

Bucky rolled his eyes. Steve kissed him again.

-0-

"Grab my hand!" Steve yelled as he climbed out onto the train.

Bucky reached out as far as he could. He could feel Steves hands on his fingers, but all hope was lost once the bar broke.

"Bucky!"

Steve could only watch as the love of his life, his soulmate yelled for him. He couldn't bring himself to climb back into the train. He stayed there, eyes full of tears and heart aching. After that he vowed never to look at his soul mark. He couldn't bear the pain of him seeing it gone.

-0-

He rolled up his sleeve for the nurse to take some blood.

"Oh a soulmate huh?" She said smiling.  
"What?"  
"You have a soulmark, who's the lucky girl?"  
"What?" Steve looked at his arm.

There he saw it. Bucky's handprint still as clear as day on his arm.

"Please excuse me for a second."

Steve stood up and darted for the door. He ran straight to the bathroom. He felt his heart becoming heavy. He looked in the mirror at the mark on him. It looked different. The old intricate lines now covered by a much larger handprint which had the lines of what looked like metal.

"This isn't possible," he whispered to himself, "I saw him die, I saw him fall."

He put his back against the wall and slowly slid down. Tears filled his eyes as he let his emotions get the best of him. He cried loudly. He was still out there. For a second he felt relieved, but the pain came flooding back when he realised someone had him. Hydra maybe, why was his hand print different? What was different about his lover?

-00000-

I'm so so so so sorry this chapter is short. I'm just trying to get to the events of CA:TWS as fast as I can x 


	7. The Soldier Within

The world was different now. Yeah he'd been in the future for a while, but it was still different. Natasha, Tony and Sam have helped him adjust a lot, but no matter what he did nothing could distract him from Bucky's handprint still on his arm. Seventy years. There's no way he could still be alive? Is there?

Every time he had a shower, he felt Bucky's arms wrapped around him. Every time he laid in bed, he felt Bucky in his arms. Every time he was scared, he heard Bucky comforting him. Whenever he ate he left an empty seat for Bucky. No one understood this better then Sam. Sam had lost his soulmate Riley in a very similar way. He had an outline of a hand with a blank middle on his shoulder.

Sam understood him in a way no one else could. He understood his hurt, his pain, his aching and was there for him every step of the way.

-0-

Steve jumped in behind the masked man. He gave up a pretty good fight. All his movements were executed perfectly and almost effortlessly. Steve for sure thought he was going to lose until he managed to rip his mask off. The man turned around. The blonde felt his heart becoming heavy in his chest.

"Bucky?" He said, in disbelief.

The mans cold eyes pierced through his skin.

"Who the hell is Bucky?" He raises his gun.

Sam pummelled him over, only for him to regain his stance in less then a second. He could see his ex-lovers eyes become more lively and fill with confusion. Natasha shot him with an explosive, then he was gone.

Heaps of different questions filled his head. How did he not remember? How was he still young? Was he with Hydra? Was he really the one to kill Nick Fury? Why was his arm metal?

He felt someone pull his hands behind his back and kick him to the ground. He didn't even care anymore. Bucky was alive, but he didn't know who Steve was.

After they were cuffed and put into the vans.

"It was him," his heart was broken, "he looked right at me, he didn't even know me."  
"How is that even possible, it was like 70 years ago?" Sam asked.  
"Zola, Bucky's whole unit was captured in '43, Zola experimented on him," he was on the verge of tears, "whatever he did must've helped him survive the fall. He must've found him."  
"None of that is your fault Steve," Natasha comforted.

There was a long silence. Steve tried to collect his thoughts.

"Even when I had nothing I had Bucky."

He moved his arm to reveal the tiny part of the black handmark sticking out from the bottom of his sleeve.

"That's Bucky's?" Natasha asked.  
"Y-yeah, I didn't understand why it was still there, but I guess how I do," tears started to roll down his cheeks, "I let this happen to him."

-0-

"I'm not going to fight you," Steve dropped his shield, "you're my friend."

He could see emotion flickering in and out of Bucky's eyes. He ran towards the blonde and pummelled him over.

"You're my mission," he said with a cold voice, he began to punch the caption, with each word bringing a new hit, "youre!my!mission!"

It was almost as if something was stopping him hitting the blonde again. He was breathing heavily. He recognised him, he did, but he couldn't play it his finger on it.

"Then finish it, because I'm...with you til the end of the line."

Twenty new emotions that Bucky didn't recognise flooded his whole body. Loss, pity, hurt, pain, confusion, longing, sadness, fear, shame, guilt, hatred, anger, happiness, helplessness, horror, anxiety, hope, grief, nostalgia, love...love?

Before he could do anything Steve fell through the glass and into the river. His instincts told him to dive after him. When he pulled him onto the bank! he waited. He waited for a sign he was still alive. He sat by the unconscious man until his eyes flicked open.

"Buck?"  
"That's not my name," his voice was almost metallic.  
He sat up and looked with sad eyes, "what did they do to you?"

He didn't respond. Steve placed his hand on Bucky's cheek causing him to flinch. He softly moved his head so he was facing him.

"The future hasn't been kind to you has it?"  
"You didn't come save me."  
"Buck-"  
"I don't have a name, stop calling me that," he paused, "I sat in that chair every day. I called for you. You never came. Why?"  
"I thought you were dead, I-I saw you fall."

Bucky didn't respond once again. He just looked at him with years of hurt and pain in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Steve whispered, with tears in his eyes after seeing the pain he was trying to suppress, "I'm so sorry this happened to you."

Bucky looked away. He moved his eyes to the ground in between his legs.

"I missed you, every day."  
"I needed you, every day."

A single tear fell from Bucky's cheek onto his leg.

"Why?"  
"What?" Steve asked "Why do you care about me so much. I'm a weapon, nothing more."  
"You're not a weapon, you're Bucky-"  
"Stop calling me that."  
"You're my best friend," Steve continued, ignoring him, "you're my boyfriend, my soulmate."  
"No."

That one word shattered Steve's heart. He could feel himself completely coming undone. It took everything in him to hold back his tears.

"No?" He managed.  
"I shouldn't of stayed."

Bucky got up and started to walk away, almost like a robot.

"Wait, Buck," Steve said scrambling to his feet.

He ran and grabbed his hand.

"Let go of me," he said coldly.  
"Please stay."  
"Let go of me."

Steve ran in front of him and stood in his way.

"Move."  
"No."  
"Move," he repeated.

Steve leant forwards and kissed him softly. Bucky hesitantly reciprocated, it felt almost right. When they pulled away, the same cold look washed over Bucky's face.

"Move."

Bucky pushed past him and left a heartbroken Steve on the riverbank by himself.


	8. I Think You Should Leave

Hey, just a quick warning this fic skips everything in civil war (except Peggy's death) and infinity war, but the snap did and will happen in the future. All of endgame will be taken as canon for this fic.

-0000000-

Many years passed. Steve looked for Bucky. He just kept looking, but all the leads turned out to be dead ends. He longed to hold him again, but at the same time he wished he wouldn't find him. Their last interaction haunts him. Bucky's cold conceded voice fills his nightmares. The pain and hurt in his eyes tugs in his heart whenever he thinks about him. He blames himself for what he went through, but since Bucky fell his mark has been different. He blamed it on his now metal arm, but he knew it was wrong. There was another reason that he didn't know, not quite yet.

"Tony I don't need you to pity me."  
"Believe it or not cap, I've had some lost loves in my life and I know the remedy to a broken heart."  
"But this is different."  
"How so?" Tony raised an eyebrow.  
"He wasn't just a love, he," he paused, "he's my soulmate."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know who my soulmate is."  
"Well that handprint is definitely not metal nor a mans."  
"We were only kids when we marked Tony."  
"Doesn't change the fact there's a large handprint on your arm that definitely isn't a kids either."  
"What are you trying to say?"  
"I'm trying to say that he might've been your soulmate before, but he isn't now."  
"That's impossible. I...I love him."  
"You might, but the universe doesn't."  
"Whatever," Steve got up and walked out.

He ached hoping Tony wasn't right, but deep down he knew he was.

-0-

Later that days he got a call from an unknown number.

"Hello?" He answered.  
"Is this Steve Rogers?"  
"Yes, who is this?"  
"This is princess Shuri of Wakanda. We have a man here named Bucky Barnes-"

He heard a voice in the background.

"Stop calling me that," it mumbled.  
"Anyway, we read here that you know him? If you could come see him and maybe talk to him that would be greatly appreciated."  
"Of course, I'll be there right away."

-0-

"Pleased to meet you king T'Challa," Steve shook his hand, "I spoke to Shuri on the phone?"  
"Yeah of course, follow me."

He led Steve through the large building. They made it outside a lab when T'Challa had a worried look wash over him.

"He's a bit shaky and unstable, please be careful"  
"Of course."

He opened the door and walked inside.

"Buck," he said softly.

Natasha had told him that organisations like hydra dehumanise their assassins by removing their names, but that didn't stop Steve. He walked around to stand infront of the broken soldier.

"Hey."  
"Why are you here?" He asked with the same conceded voice he remembered from all those years ago.  
"I wanted to see you."  
"Why?"  
"Because I know you and I love you."  
"No."  
"Yes, your name is James. Everyone called you Bucky because your middle name is Buchanan. Your mother, Winifred Barnes nicknamed you Jamie," Steve let out a breathy laugh, "you hated it and your sisters...they looked up to you. They never stopped loving you. I saw them the other day actually, they miss you James."  
"How do you know? I don't even know."  
"Because," Steve grabbed his hand, "you're my soulmate. When everyone found out, you were sent away...to conform school for quite a while. I thought you'd forget me, fall out of love, but when you came back it was the complete opposite. Please remember...please."

Steve noticed the scientists and doctors exiting the room, only leaving who he assumed was Shuri with them.

"You let them take me."  
"No, I didn't. I thought you were dead."  
"You let them hurt me."  
"Buck-"  
"You let them do this to me."  
"No Buck-"  
"You're the reason I'm a monster."

Tears started to form in Steve's eyes.

"Buck please," he begged, "remember me, remember us."

Bucky stood up off the bed and kept walking towards Steve causing him to back up.

"I think you should leave."  
"Bucky-"  
"This is your fault."

Those words sank through Steve's skin like daggers. He blinked and a tear fell down his cheek.

"I don't want to see you again. Go."  
"No," he cried, "I can't."  
"Why not? I want you to leave."

Steve now had his back pressed against the wall. He could see only one emotion hidden behind Bucky's eyes. Anger.

"Because, I didn't get to do this."

Steve pushed his head forward so he met Bucky's lips. Bucky pushed him off his and against the wall instantly.

"What was that for?"  
"I was hoping it would make you remember," he answered in a sad voice.  
"Get out," Bucky turned and walked away.

Steve half-heartedly smiled at Shuri. She gave him a sad looked and mouthed "I'm sorry" as he turned and walked out the door to meet T'Challa again.

-0-

Weeks past. Months, then eventually another year. Shuri had been working closely with Bucky and helping him get rid of hydra. He slowly started to remember Steve and kept asking when he could see him, but Steve wouldn't answer any of her or T'Challas calls. Instead he visited Peggy. He confided in her. She didn't understand it very well, but was always supportive.

Eventually he answered the phone. He wouldn't admit it, but he was terrified of the thought of seeing Bucky again. He truly loved him, he did, but he was scared. He didn't want to face him after the last time they had talked. The soft, but angry "get out" hurt Steve more then he would like to admit.

"Rogers, it's nice to see you again," T'Challa smiled.  
"You too," they shook hands.  
"He's this way."

He was led down the same corridor and bought to the same room.

"I don't know if I can do this," he gave him a sad look.  
"It'll be ok captain. He's no longer erratic and unstable."  
"Ok," there was a pause, "I'm ready."

The blonde walked in the door. He saw Bucky sitting with his back facing him. He only had one arm.

"H-hey Buck," he stuttered.  
"Steve!" He turned and smiled.

Bucky jumped from the chair and hugged the blonde. Steve flinched and hesitantly hugged him back

"Shuri told me you weren't coming," he said as he pulled away.  
"I changed my mind," he smiled.

Steve lifted his sleeve to reveal the handmark.

"Are you ready to come home Buck?"  
"I.." he looked to Shuri.

She nodded.

"Yeah, I am." 


End file.
